Art Appreciators

gallery-art-satire-comedy-humorCollectors Appreciate Art Appreciators

By: Upton Morless – Marketing News Reporter

Art dealer Neo Paleo is starting a new trend in marketing, one that is sure to entice a whole new wave of art connoisseurs and collectors with deep pockets. His idea? Art that is accompanied by “Appreciators.”

That’s right! Each piece sold will come with art appreciators who will mingle and discuss the artwork in question. They will assess and praise the work, sprinkling their conversations with gestures and art-jargon that no one else can understand.

Just think how impressed your billionaire friends will be when they walk into your spacious home and find a cluster of laudatory appreciators.

Mr. Paleo feels that this new approach will undoubtedly accelerate the rate at which a work of art appreciates in value. As he likes to say, “Why wait years or even decades before you can flip your work for a huge profit when Art Appreciators might help you do it in just months or even days?”

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. ~ Mark Twain

appreciators vintage gown clothes

Art for fashion’s sake.

Art Appreciators for your newly acquired masterpiece will come in custom configurations to suit the needs and tastes of the individual collector. Mr. Paleo also offers this option to other works collectors may already own. Packages can vary in size and complexity. The basic package is a single “admirer” who enthuses about the purchased work.

A more lavish option offers a chorus that will literally sing the praises of the artwork and its collector. Not since the Medici has so much attention been paid to the magnificence of the astute art investor. Collectors of period pieces may choose the option of Appreciators dressed in costumes of the era when the work was made. Downton Abbey, anyone?

One satisfied customer we spoke to couldn’t stop raving about the quality of the service. To our amusement, we soon realized that we were talking to Mr. Paleo himself. We hadn’t seen him slip into the back office and come out disguised as a South American gaucho. Quite the promoter he is, folks.

We at Art Twerks wish Mr. Paleo good luck in his new approach to marketing “investment-grade” art. Wink-wink.

Who needs Wall Street when you have valuable art?

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