Jimson Painting-Method Book
Excerpts From A Possible New Upcoming Book
By: Prof. Gulley Jimson, RA, Ph.D., AFT, RCA, PADI
Greetings, faithful students, and admirers of all things Jimson.
In this installment on Art Twerks, I hope to tantalize you with a few excerpts from my soon-to-be-released master treatise on the technical aspects of the science of painting, à la yours truly. The publisher informs me that it will be made available in all forms of modern dissemination, and in at least 20 languages. I know some of you who are just salivating to read it in Esperanto.
As regular followers, I’m sure you are aware of my unorthodox approach to art, and particularly to how I paint. Since I am primarily an oil painter, most of the methods and materials mentioned in this volume are directed to that type of painting. However, when necessary, I will also refer to products and methods that lend themselves to other mediums, such as acrylics, egg tempera, etc.
In addition, I wish to apologize to those of you who prefer using various bodily fluids in your paintings. The subject and methodology are too broad to be included in this current volume, but I may address the topic in a future treatise.
Proposed Book Chapters:
Chapter 1 – Painting mediums
Chapter 2 – Paints and pigments
Chapter 3 – Tools
Chapter 4 – How to acquire materials and supplies
with little or no money
Chapter 5 – How to set up a still life
Chapter 6 – How to set up a live model
Chapter 7 – How to avoid a setup
Chapter 8 – How to avoid bill collectors
Chapter 9 – How to get free advertising
Chapter 10 – How to paint like the professor without really trying
It don’t mean a thing if it don’t go ka-ching! ~ Zed Nil
Please Note: The excerpts below are only a partial sample from my upcoming new book.
Chapter 1 – Painting Mediums
As some of you already know, I prefer various grades of motor oil. It is less expensive than refined linseed oil or stand oil, and much easier to come by, especially if you have a friend who happens to be an automobile mechanic.
Please note that I only use synthetic oils when I am painting with alkyds, or in cold and damp weather conditions, in which case they can be useful for waterproofing your outer clothing if working en plein air.
One niggling complaint that I have with the newer oils is that manufacturers have resorted to phasing out ZDDP (zinc dialkyldithiophosphate), which gives traditional motor oil the extra ability to protect engine parts, and therefore by extension, paintbrushes.
So, on to the goodies.
Warning: Do not use any of the items listed below while smoking, eating, near a heat source, or especially around an upset paramour. I have learned this the hard way.
5w-30 – Good for glazes. Although I do not advise this, it can be thinned with small quantities of gasoline for quicker drying.
10w-40 – Middle viscosity; slower drying. Good for painters who prefer a richer consistency and have difficulty working rapidly.
Used Black Motor Oil – High viscosity—the thickest of the oils, and the slowest drying—similar to “Black Oil” from the past. It also provides a “built-in” Old Master appearance to the painting. Used full strength, it produces very satisfying night scenes.
Caution: Use sparingly, as overuse of this oil can make one lethargic.
Butter – Used as an extender for paint. It also adds a bit of flavor to the color harmony. Personally, I believe that it is the “magic” ingredient that makes the still life paintings of Chardin so appealing. It may also explain why so many still life paintings have bread in them.
Lard – Similar to butter but produces a “fatter” effect.
Epoxy – Substitute for a traditional final varnish. Dries much harder than other varnishes, protects from water damage, and almost impervious to attacks by deranged persons attempting to deface your artwork. Of course, that also means it is difficult for art conservators to remove it. But that’s their job. Helps to keep ’em employed.
Spermaceti – Very appropriate for seascapes. Becoming increasingly difficult to find. Some painters produce their own but it rarely has the ocean-like effect that the real thing offers.
If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable? ~ George Carlin
Olive Oil – Perfect for Italian and Mediterranean landscapes; add vinegar for leafy nature morte.
Rapeseed Oil – Poussin, Rubens, Picasso, Delacroix, and others used this when they did their version of Rape of the Sabines.
Molasses – Bouguereau’s secret ingredient. How else could he produce such smooth surfaces and sweet paintings? His work has been frequently described as “lickable.”
Fireflies – the ground-up bodies of fireflies have been used by many painters throughout the history of painting. The method of production is disgusting, what with the grinding and pummeling of these poor defenseless creatures. But a finely ground paste of them, when mixed with a tiny bit of oil, produces a wonderful effect of light in some very popular paintings. Until recently there was a fellow whose use of this material produced the moniker “painter of light”. Fortunately, he is no longer hawking his creations on the art market.
This is the end of the sample excerpts from the upcoming book by Professor Gulley Jimson. Check in to this website periodically for future updates on the status of the possible book.
In the meantime, paint like there’s no tomorrow!